Friendly Mormon Missionaries
Over at the Catholic Answers Forum a poster asks about spending time with the Mormon community for Bible studies… Sadly, this Catholic of 10 years has found the Catholic communities in his new city to be not very welcoming. In response to his inquiry, it was written:
Hi melmac,
Welcome to CAF! The technique the Mormons are using on you (all that welcoming, warmth and acceptance) is well known to those who study cults. It’s called “love-bombing”. All cults do it to attract you to their group and to keep your attention away from the weirdness of their doctrines. It is especially effective on shy, lonely or vulnerable people. Mormons are experts at spotting those people.
As soon as these people learn that they have no hope of converting you, they will lose interest, the love-bombing will cease and they will move on to the next conquest.
The Mormon term for it is “friendshipping” and it is a missionary technique they are taught. They even have an instruction manual on how to friendship effectively to get converts.
Only in Mormonism is friendship not a noun, but a verb - something you do to someone to get what you want.
Think about it. No matter how nicely someone treats you, it doesn’t change what’s true and false.
God love you,
Paul (a former Mormon now Catholic)
I respond:
You bring up GREAT points Paul.
It should also be noted that a lot of these missionaires are 19-21 year olds who are away from their home on their “mission” for 24 months which Mormons are more than encouraged to go on. (Not quite forced, but you really DO NOT want to NOT do it…) They are raised with that experience ever before them. There is a hymn commonly taught to children in what would be like “sunday school” where they sing (paraphrase!) “I wanna grow up to be a missionary, when I grow a foot or two! I wanna go on a mission..” Would were it the case Catholics instilled such zeal for mission work!
During the course of these 24 months they are away from home and will not go back (usually) even for a parent or sibling’s funeral. The average missionary will baptize TWO members of which ONE will stay a Mormon. During the course of those 24 months they are living with “mission partners” (who may well be strangers they may not like at all) and having every aspect of their life controlled (some are not allowed to read newspapers, watch TV, or listen to the radio…)
ALSO during the course of these 24 months, away from home, living with strangers, they will suffer some of the nastiest invectives and abuse from people on the street and in going door-to-door. I recently saw a PBS special on Mormonism where a hidden cameral followed two all-American looking young guys who were in a big city… People would not talk to them, except for the jerks that would walk up to them unprovoked and start swearing and making fun of them. These kids never stopped smiling.
Really, sociologically, this program is amazing - you take kids away from homes with active and strong family life (often with a lot of brothers and sisters) and send them apple-cheeked and green out into the non-Mormon world where they are treated TERRIBLY by most people and have doors slammed in their face. At the end of 24 months they return home, more often than not, affirming that THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME.
So the “Love bombing” - while true - isn’t on the face of it as ominous as some may think it is. These kids who are homesick and treated awfully don’t want to go home from the mission they were raised to be excited about as failures. They also really are genuinely happy someone is actually being receptive to them.
If I were 20, away from home for the first time, living with strangers and everyone told me the Catholic Church was stupid, the first soul who was nice to me and receptive to what I had to say would be my “bestest friend in the whole wide world”! I would love you to death for being nice to me and offering me hope that I would not return to my family a “failure who baptized no one.”
So maybe offer to pray the Our Father with them, and then definately pray for them. But do not read their lit and go to their meetings. It was overwhelming for a Catholic priest - Isaiah Bennett - who for a short time left the priesthood and got married (even after years of seminary formation!) before returning to the Catholic Church. If someone like that - a priest! - can succumb to that environment, I certainly would NOT trust myself.
David Bennett
Jennifer
asimplesinner
Fr. J.
Chad Toney
Jorge Flores
Jonathan B
carmelbennett
nicenehobbit
Jason S
jaybird68
papaz
February 19, 2008 at 2:33 pm
SS,
Thanks for such a sensitive and insightful look into the Mormon missionary experience. Almost sounds like you were one once.
I was fairly close to a Mormon family growing up and even thought I might become a Mormon when I was a freshman in college, though I was open to many religious things, then. When a friend was gretting ready to go on mission, I went to hear his testimony at the Mormon stake (I think that’s what it’s called). He showed a side of himself I hadn’t seen. It was very emotional and he was in tears as he proclaimed with everything in him that “the church is true.” I wasn’t convinced, but I knew he had a conviction I was lacking in my own faith. I know now what was unclear to me then–that I did not want his faith but wanted to have the same kind of faith in my own Catholicism.
Yes, Mormonism is powerful. It is not just a bag of cooky ideas. It is a bag of cooky ideas wrapped in a mostly very sound way of life. We would do well to learn some things about family life from them, single hearted devotion, and a passion for our faith.
February 19, 2008 at 3:07 pm
I was never a Mormon and have only known a few. For some odd reason (perhaps I seemed too reprobate?) not one of them ever tried to convert me. Maybe they were looking for bigger fish and decided not to drop a line?
My time in seminary when I was 20 made me (in a VERY small way) able to relate to how lonely it can be to go off and seek to serve God. My family hated it, my mother refused to say goodbye or ride with my dad when he dropped me off, my friends thought I was a moron.
Well they got the moron part right anyway.
But during that brief time, the strangers who offered kind words, the family I never met that sent me random cards with a $10 bill with a note saying “praying for all our seminarians!” and the people my own age who thought my efforts were laudible really helped out. (Especially considering just how universally AWFUL seminary food is!)
But I suppose you could say I have an ulterior motive to writing about this… as counter-intuitive as it first seems, I encourage Catholics to be VERY friendly to them. (Offer them a drink of water on a hot day, offer to pray for them. DO NOT take their lit. Do not let them into your home if your small children are present!)
If you are nasty or rude, that only re-affirms them in their belief that they are the chosen, the elect, and each rudeness is a validation. That entrenches them further.
Plus people just deserve to be treated decently.
February 19, 2008 at 7:28 pm
SS.
Thanks again. Sorry to hear about the bad seminary food. Unfortunately for me, Moreau doesnt have that problem. We have really, really wonderful, abundant food around the clock. It plays and taunts all my attempts at self discipline. My Lents are the harder, but the Easters more stupendous, though. I’m glad you tried seminary and got that question answered. So many run from the question and are pusued by it even into marriage and later life. You are the better for having asked the question in the most concrete way and found your answer.
As for your inner-moron, I’ve never met him. I have one of my own; don’t we all?
February 19, 2008 at 9:56 pm
I’m a mormon myself, and I want to thank you guys for showing respect to our beliefs. It’s not something I hear often from the mainstream christian community.
February 19, 2008 at 10:38 pm
You know as far as moral is concerned they say the ship’s food makes it either sail or sink.
Or was it ships food makes her sailors either sink but…. nevermind.
February 20, 2008 at 4:13 am
Zan, you are right. In Holy Cross we have a strong tradition of military chaplaincy. So a good number of our community understand the principal of good food makes for good morale.
When I entered way back in the 80’s, I was really into simplicity and leading a poor lifestyle. I would always bring up ways to cut our food. Now I am older and I hope a bit wiser and appreciate the point that good food helps keep a community happy. There are many ingredients to a good life, that is just one of them.
February 20, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Jake it would probably be fair to say I have all the standard misgivings about the theology and teaching of the Mormon community that any other Catholic thinking with the heart of the Church does.
That being the case, I see no reason whatsoever for the useless castigation or demonizing of people who are generally genuinely good. Doing that creates nothing good and leads to pride, hate, fear, anger, reprisal, and contempt. NONE of those things targeted against other people will do many any good (only harm) in my goal to get to heaven.
We are glad you are stopping by PC, and hope you do so often.
February 20, 2008 at 1:41 pm
“When I entered way back in the 80’s, I was really into simplicity and leading a poor lifestyle. I would always bring up ways to cut our food.”
Honestly, my pastor is an exceptional cook who prepares some really simple and tastey meals during the Great Fast. Simple food can be good. And some food is simply awful!
Where I went to seminary, the food was salty, fatty and greasy. And then Father Rector was told to watch his sodium intake… So it was just fatty and greasy and the salt shakers were removed from the table.
We started bringing our own packets to dinner.
Ah seminary!
February 20, 2008 at 6:13 pm
As a return mission from the Chile Santiago West Mission I take offense in your insiuation that missionaries are “forced” into doing anything. ie. waking up at a certain time, not watching TV, listening to non-christian music, not phoning home. A missionary is forced to do nothing. Missionaries pay for every single expense during their two year mission. Rules are outlined and missionaries follow them. If you truly understood Mormonism you would know that the most basic of its teaching is free agency or the ability to choose every decision one makes. You discredit the sacrifices missionaries voluntarily make by saying they’re forced into making them.
February 20, 2008 at 7:31 pm
Anonymous,
No one said they were forced.
Find where I wrote that, and I will change that. You criticize - anonymously - what I did not say. Maybe you wish to crticize me for saying the earth was flat next?
When you are on a mission to you pick your own partners? Do you rent an apartment of your own choosing? Could you live alone if you liked?
How are you directed?
February 20, 2008 at 10:27 pm
I doubt we have many regular Mormon readers. They prolly have a pre-set google search on the word, “Mormon,” so they can play damage control. So, they are looking to be bashed and take any opportunity to be offended.
Still, they are good people, no matter how defensive they may come across.
February 20, 2008 at 11:46 pm
Yes we do tend to be defensive, but you can hardly blame us. We especially hate being misunderstood, and that’s common when so many people are trying to openly accuse our faith with so many half-truths and lies.
I google search “mormon” for a couple of reasons. One-to find other mormon written blogs, Two-participate in intelligent discussion on our church (like this one), Three-expose myself to a variety of ideas to help me to learn from different perspectives, and four-yes to play “damage control”, so that other people don’t define mormonism for us.
May 13, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Jake
you indeed seem to have a open mind about truth. i hope we all do. may we find that truth…in Him…His one true body…..let us all look for the fullness of the truth. remember Jesus said He would not leave us orphens. Let me ask you. I am truley curious what your take is on this statement. If God is infinite….How can he progress? Infinity + one?